Scenario: At the Shell Gas Station today!
Unidentified Man Pumping Gas Across the Aisle from me (UMP): Hey there! You need some help?
Me: No thanks! But thank you!
UMP: Naw, really, let me help you pump your gas. It’s the least I could do!
Me: Oh, ok! Thanks!
UMP: You know, you are gorgeous woman! I love thick women!
Me: Oh (taken aback!), uh, thanks, I think!
UMP: (putting the nozzle back in the cradle) Is there anything else in your life that needs to be pumped baby?
Me: Wow, you just said that. Thanks, but no thanks! I’m good!
UMP: Dayum! You don’t have to be some uppity b!$%& about it!
Me: Well, here’s the thing! I ain’t 20 something! “Flattery” like that isn’t flattery!
UMP: (Walking away, mumbling under his breath)…..
Me: Thank you for pumping my gas though! (Laughing)!