He, She, They, We!

This is who my kid is (he). This is who I am (she). This is who our community is (they). We are all family (we)!

April 22, 2011 6:52 am

Daddy Envy

So K has recently become increasingly aware that he doesn’t have a Daddy!  It’s no secret, right?  I mean, we talk about how he doesn’t have a Daddy, but he has a Grandpa (whom he ADORES), he has Uncles and really cool dudes in his life who are there for him!  I have also made it a point to have African American men in his life (as well as gay, Latino, bi-racial, and the like) so that he sees that our life isn’t black or white but filled with love and color and differences and amazingness.   To make sure that it wasn’t just my kid, I took a poll amongst my single friends with kids and we are not alone, so at least that made me feel better.  So I can only conclude that his current/recent “daddy envy” is stemming from a desire to have what other children have.  He goes to school and sees the dad’s dropping off their kids!  He goes to church and sees the same thing.  Heck, he hangs out with me and my parents and he knows that Grandpa is Mommy’s daddy!  Even “Mommy” has a daddy!!! 

When I get the “Why doesnt he have a daddy?” or “Wheres his daddy?”  I just use simple terms for these simple questions.  I either take the “well, I am not married” or I tackle it with, “Our family doesn’t have a daddy!”  It’s a tough gig explaining it to small children, but if only it were small children asking.  It’s strangers at the store, it’s people at his soccer, it’s random people who think he’s cute, come up to us and quickly say, “He must look like his Daddy!”  To that, I say, “I don’t know who his Daddy is!” and keep on walking leaving them with their jaw on the floor!  I know, I know, sarcasm will get me nowhere, but hey, shut your face stranger person!

So, would I like for my son to have a Dad?  Of course I would.  Would I like to have someone to help me?  HECK yes I would.  However, when the right man comes along, then that will be the time.  Until that time comes, we will be a family without a Dad and I am ok with that—and I know K will survive!!!  I am not obsessed with getting K a dad!  I will leave the obsessive “daddy” talk to the three year old and enjoy this ride!!!!  And what a ride it’s been so far!!!

  1. kmansmama posted this