He, She, They, We!

Dear Z,
Here we are again, another mothers day. As I am writing this, our beautiful son is sitting next to me reading a superhero book. He can’t read the words, but I have read it to him so many times, we knows most if it by heart. He is so amazing Z. He is so scrappy and gritty and energetic and smart. He is loving and caring. He is generous and kind. He is so many things Z and I know that much of this is because of you.  Later tonight we will draw you something special and decide which picture we should put with his drawing and this letter. I think about you on a daily basis. As our life become busier and busier, I think of you more.  You are so enmeshed in our conversations, in our lives.  I so wish that on this Mother’s Day, I could hug you. I so want to tell you how much I appreciate you. I want to tell you how much I love you. I want you to know that we haven’t ever forgotten you or the amazingly wonderful gift you gave me in our son.  Happy Mother’s Day Z. We love you.  I love you.  Our son loves you.

http://articles.philly.com/2006-05-08/news/25400162_1_race-and-adoption-transracial-adoption-white-families

Got this message from a fellow adoptive mom who I met 3 years ago at an orphanage reunion!  Blesses me to get messages like this!

Hi C,

You probably don’t remember me, but I met you at the Toukoul reunion in Portland in 2010 during the hair care class. I had just received our referral. Anyway… I’m watching reruns of one of my favorite shows, LA Ink, on Netflix and up walks this woman to the door. I immediately think, “That woman looks so familiar. Who is that woman? How do I know her?” Next thing I see is a beautiful picture of an adorable little Ethiopian.  Ah ha! It took me 1/2 second to realize where I had seen your face. So fun!

And beautiful tattoo!!!

Have a blessed day.

K and I talk about adoption a lot.  I try to bring it up often.  We talk about his birth mom a lot, so it isn’t a secret about how our family became just that, a family.  Clearly, I am not doing a great job at talking to him about it… UGH!!!

K: Mama, you are my favorite Mama!

Me: Thank you Baby!  I am glad I am your favorite.  You know why?

K:  Um… no.

Me:  Because when you were a baby, I got on a plane, and went over to Ethiopia to get you.  I loved you so much, even before I saw you.  I just knew you were going to be my favorite son!!!

K:  Mama, is Africa a store where you can buy things?  Where you got me?

Me:  No Love.  What I meant was…

K:  So you didn’t get me? 

Me:  Well yes, I did, but…

K: So is Africa like Target?  Where we get things? 

Me:  Sweetie, you aren’t a thing…and…

K:  (cutting me off)… So did you come to Ethiopia to get me?

Me:  I… Yes…Of course I did… (stumbling over my words… at a loss for what to say next).

K:  Mama, can we read a book?

Me:  Of course!!!

*Ready to cry!