Here we are again, another mothers day. As I am writing this, our beautiful son is sitting next to me reading a superhero book. He can’t read the words, but I have read it to him so many times, we knows most if it by heart. He is so amazing Z. He is so scrappy and gritty and energetic and smart. He is loving and caring. He is generous and kind. He is so many things Z and I know that much of this is because of you. Later tonight we will draw you something special and decide which picture we should put with his drawing and this letter. I think about you on a daily basis. As our life become busier and busier, I think of you more. You are so enmeshed in our conversations, in our lives. I so wish that on this Mother’s Day, I could hug you. I so want to tell you how much I appreciate you. I want to tell you how much I love you. I want you to know that we haven’t ever forgotten you or the amazingly wonderful gift you gave me in our son. Happy Mother’s Day Z. We love you. I love you. Our son loves you.
Three years ago today I met my son, in person, for the first time. After travelling 2 days and being on 3 continents to get to him, the moment I saw him, I broke. A flood of emotion came over me as did the questions—would I be a good enough mom? How was I going to raise him on my own? Who was he? Would he love me? Would be bond? Would I ruin his life? Would I…. Would I… Would I…? So many questions and so much peace at the same time, it was the strangest moment in my life up to that point. I knew I was exactly where I needed to be and doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing, but… well, there’s always a but, right? I knew that we were both scared—you can see it on our faces. I knew that this would bring big changes for both of us. I knew that we would go on this journey together—knowing that made things a little bit easier—we would be on the same team, figuring it all out together.
While the journey of getting to this place, the place of being someone’s mom, was bumpy and frustrating and confusing and lonely and exhausting and wonderful and scary—it was worth it. Three years ago today, the course of my life changed forever, again. Three years ago today, I was blessed with the chance to become a mom. Three years ago today, I met my Konjo for the first time. Thank you son for being just that, my son. Thank you Z for allowing me raise our son. Thank you friends and family who have been on this journey with us. Thank you God for orchestrating our family.
Got this message from a fellow adoptive mom who I met 3 years ago at an orphanage reunion! Blesses me to get messages like this!
You probably don’t remember me, but I met you at the Toukoul reunion in Portland in 2010 during the hair care class. I had just received our referral. Anyway… I’m watching reruns of one of my favorite shows, LA Ink, on Netflix and up walks this woman to the door. I immediately think, “That woman looks so familiar. Who is that woman? How do I know her?” Next thing I see is a beautiful picture of an adorable little Ethiopian. Ah ha! It took me 1/2 second to realize where I had seen your face. So fun!
And beautiful tattoo!!!
Have a blessed day.
K and I talk about adoption a lot. I try to bring it up often. We talk about his birth mom a lot, so it isn’t a secret about how our family became just that, a family. Clearly, I am not doing a great job at talking to him about it… UGH!!!
K: Mama, you are my favorite Mama!
Me: Thank you Baby! I am glad I am your favorite. You know why?
K: Um… no.
Me: Because when you were a baby, I got on a plane, and went over to Ethiopia to get you. I loved you so much, even before I saw you. I just knew you were going to be my favorite son!!!
K: Mama, is Africa a store where you can buy things? Where you got me?
Me: No Love. What I meant was…
K: So you didn’t get me?
Me: Well yes, I did, but…
K: So is Africa like Target? Where we get things?
Me: Sweetie, you aren’t a thing…and…
K: (cutting me off)… So did you come to Ethiopia to get me?
Me: I… Yes…Of course I did… (stumbling over my words… at a loss for what to say next).
K: Mama, can we read a book?
Me: Of course!!!
*Ready to cry!