It’s our son’s 6th birthday today and I can’t help but think about you today. You are always at the forefront of my mind, but on days like today, more so. I want you to know that today, as we celebrate his birth, you are missed. Your presence to see our son grow and mature and smile and laugh and rip open his gifts is missed. I know that sounds corny since I’ve never met you, but the funny thing is, I have. In every facial expression, or mannerism that our son does that I don’t recognize as something taught or learned, I think, “is that from Z?” or “Does Z do that too?” You are forever intertwined into who he is; into our family.
Let me tell you a few things about our boy on his 6th birthday:
He’s a hugger. More times than not, I have to remind him about personal space or asking people if he can give them a hug. He just loves to be near people and show affection.
He’s smart. This kid says some of the funniest things. He is witty and sarcastic—almost to a fault. His vocabulary is out of this world and he loves using big words. Ironically enough, he uses them correctly.
He’s a firecracker. He has more energy than I know what to do with sometimes. While it can get him in to trouble, he just wants to run free all the time!
He loves being barefoot. He could wear flip flops or sandals all year round. But he’d much rather be footloose and fancy free.
He’s a horrible sharer. He really dislikes sharing. Some of that is just being an only child and some of it, I think, stems from worrying that he may never get that toy back.
He loves chili cheese fries from Del Taco. He can’t get enough of them.
He’s a magnet sleeper/cuddler. He has to have his feet wedged up under you if he’s sitting or sleeping next to you. It can be sweet or annoying, depending on what mood you are in.
He’s a charmer. He works his magic with the ladies and loves every second of it. It’s those big eyes and that sweet smile that gets ‘em every time.
He loves to dance. He isn’t great at it, but loves to do it all the same.
He is easily frustrated when things don’t go his way. He’s quick to say, “That’s not fair!” and I gently remind him that life isn’t fair.
He loves to read. We read at night in bed for about 30 minutes and is truly disappointed when he can’t get in as much reading time as he would like.
He’s happy. Truly, truly a happy boy. He smiles more than should be considered legal and just enjoys life in general.
Z, there is so much more that makes up who our son is, but this is just a glimpse. Know that I love you; we love you. Without you, there is no us and I don’t take that lightly. I never will. I pray that our paths will cross and that I can reach out to you and hug you and thank you. I pray that I can share these stories with you in person one day and let you know that you are forever a part of the amazing fabric that makes up our family. I pray that one day, you two will be able to find each other and give each other a hug—he gives great hugs; I promise, you won’t be disappointed. I am sure that you are thinking about our son on this day, his 6th birthday, from 8,840 miles away; there isn’t a doubt in my mind.
November is a big month for our household. People who know me personally, know that the topic of foster care/adoptions isn’t ever far from the conversation. However, this month, be prepared to talk about it a lot. Real talk: kids need families. Kids need love. Kids need stability. Kids need to know they are wanted. Kids just want to know someone loves them, unconditionally. This month, I want you to think about how you can impact the life of a kid—even if it just looking at how we can be better parents to our kids.
Become a mentor? Big Brother/Big Sister? Foster a kid? Sponsor a child through a reputable organization? Tutor in an after school program? Work at a shelter? Volunteer in your community? Take a kid in your kid’s class under your wing? Do a short term mission trip? Donate books? Adopt?
I just want to start the wheels turning in your head about ways to positively impact and add to a child’s life. It isn’t always about adoption—it’s about just letting a kid know you care! Let’s strive to let kid’s know that they matter! Let’s strive to be people to empower them to dream. Let’s endeavor to be there and listen to a child. Let’s encourage them to be more that we are. Let’s work together to create a safe place for kid’s.
Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn’t grow under my heart - but in it!
*I didn’t post this yesterday because I wasn’t sure I was going to post it at all. K’s “story” isn’t something that I talk about because it’s simply that—his story. However, if it wasn’t for his amazing birth parents, I wouldn’t be a Mama… If you have followed me, you know that I celebrate his b-mom a lot; probably because I have more information about her and probably because, as a fellow Mama, I feel like I have a stronger connection to her… but if it wasn’t for his b-dad, there wouldn’t be a K-man. So… there you have it. My round-about way of sharing him…
Well, I haven’t ever written you before but for some reason, this Father’s Day I thought about you. It isn’t that I don’t think about you often and wonder about you, but, for some reason, this week, you have been on my heart. I know you aren’t “here” anymore, but I would have loved to have our son meet you. Let me tell you a few things about him—he’s tall, probably like you were. He’s handsome—probably a mixture of you and Z, I am sure. While I legally changed his name, he still carries your name, your family name within his name. I always want him to have a piece of you with him. K is smart and funny. He makes me laugh all the time and is witty with a quick comeback. He loves to run and jump and climb. One of his favorite things to do this time of year is swim and he’s really good at it. M, I also want you to know that he has amazing men in his life. In case you might have ever been worries about that. We are blessed to have men who adore him, protect him, help raise him and assist in training him to be a man. So, M, on Father’s Day, this Father’s Day, just know that no matter where you are, we love you!
Here we are again, another mothers day. As I am writing this, our beautiful son is sitting next to me reading a superhero book. He can’t read the words, but I have read it to him so many times, we knows most if it by heart. He is so amazing Z. He is so scrappy and gritty and energetic and smart. He is loving and caring. He is generous and kind. He is so many things Z and I know that much of this is because of you. Later tonight we will draw you something special and decide which picture we should put with his drawing and this letter. I think about you on a daily basis. As our life become busier and busier, I think of you more. You are so enmeshed in our conversations, in our lives. I so wish that on this Mother’s Day, I could hug you. I so want to tell you how much I appreciate you. I want to tell you how much I love you. I want you to know that we haven’t ever forgotten you or the amazingly wonderful gift you gave me in our son. Happy Mother’s Day Z. We love you. I love you. Our son loves you.