He, She, They, We!

This is who my kid is (he). This is who I am (she). This is who our community is (they). We are all family (we)!

October 18, 2013 8:00 am

Farts and Poop: So Now I’m the Idiot

K:  Mama, didja know that sometimes when you fart, there’s also poop?

Me:  Yes. I did.  And sometimes….

K:  Yeah, my belly feels better when I fart… and when I poop. 

*Walks away before I can say anything else.

January 21, 2013 5:01 am

Excuse me, I farted!!!

We do dinner with my parents every Thursday.  This past week, we went to a place right near my work.  We love this place and all the people who work there know us.  K has been going through a phase where he announces his farts.  I have been trying to discourage this behavior to no avail.  I was sitting on the side of the table across from him.

Me: *Smelling something close to rotten eggs. (Whispering)  Baby, did you fart?

K:  (Looking up from the iPad with headphones on) What Mama?  Did you say good job?

Me: (Motioning him to take off the headphones) No Love.  I didn’t say good job.  I asked you if you farted.  Did you?

K:  (putting the headphones back on and loudly announcing).  Oh yes I did.  EXCUSE ME I FARTED!!!!  OH!  THERE I DID IT AGAIN!!!  WHEEEEEEEEEW WEEEEEEE! (*waiving his hand in front of his face) THAT IS DISSSSSS-GUSTING!!!

*Thanks son for letting everyone at the restaurant know that you have gas since you can’t hear how loud your voice is because you have the headphone on!!!  Thanks a lot!

July 17, 2012 8:41 am

DIS-GUS-TING

*Scenario—in the car on the way home from school. 

K:  Mommy, can you please turn up the radio?

Me: Thank you for using your manners (as I start to turn up the music)

K:  OH!  MY!  GOODNESS!!!

Me:  (Startled) WHAT?  What’s wrong?

K:  I just farted a little and that junk was DIS-GUS-TING! Whew, what the heck was that all about?

Me:  *uncontrollably laughing!!!

June 28, 2011 5:00 am

Tuesday Truth-day! June 28, 2011

*I will use each Tuesday to rat myself out about something!  It’s all in good fun and I am sure that these “truth-day” revelations won’t be things people don’t already know about me!

Farting.  We all do it.  Right?  According to Dr. Oz, we pass gas at least 12 times a day.  Sadly, gas comes at the worst times.  You know, if you are in a meeting with your boss—it’s not like you can just play it off like it’s someone else.  On an airplane, it’s a tough gig being trapped in a tin can with some serious gas. 

Since I am a mom of a toddler (who initially didn’t speak any English), I have, at times, blamed him for my own farting.  Is this nice?  No.  Is it fair?  No (and life isn’t fair).  Am I a mean mommy?  Probably.  But dang, no one says anything to a kid who has gas, but if I have to fart—I only got a 3-4 year shelf life to blame him, so I gotta tap that!  Just sayin’!